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  • Writer's pictureShannon Moore

PS If you do not RSVP, please bring a chair and a sandwich.

OK, real talk here..... Why is it so damn hard to send back an RSVP? Hey, I'm guilty of it. Wedding invitation comes in the mail, I'm super excited about getting dressed up and for a night out yet I just cant seem to get my butt to the mailbox to send back that RSVP.

As I sit in my office for the last two weeks sending out personal text messages to all of the guests for two separate weddings, I think to myself how can we make this easier? Considering we have sent guests a pre stamped envelope, offered an online rsvp, and now are reaching out to them via text.... I do not think we can, so here you go... a guide to not being that guy/girl that is rude AF for not sending back an RSVP.

First I think that is is extremely important for you to know WHY your RSVP is so important.


The bride and groom most likely had a budget at the begining of wedding planning, and their guest list was curated to make sure that the couple was fiscally responsible with that budget. BASICALLY, you were invited and someone else wasn't so that they didn't go over budget. DON'T be a JERK and send in your RSVP!


Most Catering companies require a final guest count a month to 2 weeks outs from the wedding date. That is when we make that final payment to them. Catering is usually one of those high dollar lines on the budget, and it is a mystery to everyone until all the RSVPs are in. DON'T be a FLAKE and send in your RSVP!


The floorplan. We can predict the amount of guest coming based off of our original guest list, but this is just a prediction. It is what we used to create our budget for florals, rentals, linens, and decor. But until all the RSVPs are in our floorplan is literally a fart in the wind. We do not know until we know. Have you ever had to make a seating chart with a couple days notice? It is not fun. DON'T be a CRAPPY FRIEND and send in your RSVP!


In case you didn't know we are still in the middle of a pandemic. This makes your RSVP even more critical. We have most likely changed our head count, venue, menu, budget a thousand times in the last year. The bride and groom have gone through every emotion you could possibly think of as a COVID couple. DON'T be HEARTLESS and send in your RSVP!

I really hope you get the point with all of this and I have possibly guilted you into taking that self addressed stamp to the mailbox 5 feet away. However, if you need more pushing, well, I'm your girl.

Maybe you are having a hard time sending in your RSVP because you do not want to tell the couple you are DECLINING their thoughtful invite to the most important day of their lives. Let me let you in on a little secret..... at this point in wedding planning, we just want a YES or a NO. Of course we want to celebrate with you which is why you were invited originally, but we aren't going to call off the whole thing because you can't find a babysitter and are unable to attend our big day. I promise the couple will be ok. But if you do decline, here are some ways to let the couple know you are thankful for their thoughtfulness of you and appreciate the invitation.

  1. Check out their registry and send them a gift!

  2. Send a sweet note with your regards along with the RSVP

  3. RSVP by the deadline.

If you RSVP that you are coming and something comes up last minute and you can no longer attend the wedding, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT text the BRIDE AND GROOM the week of their wedding. Instead find out who their planner is and send them an email, if they did not hire a planner, call their parents or maid of honor or best man. Then, DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP, send them a gift, adequate to the cost of your plate since it was already paid for.

Lastly, if you show up to a wedding and you have not sent in a RSVP, do me a favor, please bring a chair and a sandwich.

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